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Message # 61732.1.1

Subject: Talking Re:good question

Date: Sun 06/07/14 11:26:05 GMT

Name: jollywetfellow ex

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Talking I don't think a fetish has a 'cause' as such (at least, not in the events of your own life).     With the benefit of adult hindsight, I strongly believe that my father also had the wetlook fetish, and my son does a bit too (though neither seem to have it as strongly as I do).   I believe it is therefore at least partly hereditary.    

Looking at reproduction from a biological point of view, humans as a species have a low reproductive rate (especially before modern medicine, when child mortality was very high).     To be successful in these circumstances, a species has to make full use of all, or almost all, available females.    Man is a hugely successful species.  This is because nature has ensured that different men are 'programmed' to like different characteristics in women, so that, whatever the kind of woman, there are some men who like her characteristics.    A liking for wet clothing is just one of the outcomes of the natural variation in this 'programming' - it was perhaps particularly useful in securing sexual partners for women whose particular abilities lay in fishing with bare hand or nets, or in harvesting seaweed, and who perhaps usually looked bedraggled and unattractive to most men.   Often, though (like all hereditary characteristics) by no means always, these are passed down from parent to child.

(Incidentally, I remember a brief discussion on the forum a few months ago about why people often seem to like a woman who is like their own mother.    I think that is also easily explained by the fact that your father (obviously!) liked your mother, and you have inherited from him a liking for the same kind of woman).

It may well be, though, that the events in your early life can influence how strongly the 'programming' comes out in you as an individual.   I spent my youth in a house overlooking a beach, and therefore had a lot of exposure to wet clothing from an early age.    Neither my father nor my son had the same 'easy access' to wetlook, which probably explains why the fetish seems less strongly developed in them.

In reply to Message (61732.1) Hello good question

By Silas - uu Sun 06/07/14 08:59:36 GMT

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Good question.

I've over-analyzed and thought myself to death with this question for years.

I've come up with a decent theory based upon psychological research.

There is a psychological concept called "anchoring". It is used in sales techniques, mostly for setting prices. Have you ever heard someone say "I remember when gas used to be 50 cents a gallon!"?

Our minds create an anchor upon the first encounter with something - so that person who is talking about 50 cents a gallon most likely paid 50 cents a gallon the first time they were driving independently. That price anchored in their mind as the "proper" price of a gallon of gas, and henceforth became the price they compare it to when paying 4 dollars a gallon for the same product.

But if you view it objectively, it is really unknowable what the "proper" price of gasoline really is. There's a million factors involved. You get the point.

There is a very good reason for this, the mind is trying to conserve memory and energy. The modern world is a trillion times too complex to be processed fully by any one mind. So the mind needs to make shortcuts, in the form of generalizations, prejudices, preconceived ideas. Now introduce another psychological concept, the human need for personal consistency. This is a remarkably strong urge in people, to both consciously and subconsciously remain consistent to previous beliefs, statements, stances, even in the face of persecution or overwhelming evidence to the contrary. A "Give me liberty or give me death" is a good example of a person's refusal to back down on a belief, to remain consistent with it.

So as a result of the need to conserve energy and memory, and the urge to remain consistent, anchoring creates a strong, lifelong bond of a person's mind to a certain topic. Apply the same logic to sexual arousal, and all the pieces fit. I too had parents who spoke out against any sexual activity on my part. I also remember bathing in pajamas at a young age, something I enjoyed. So take a human brain and think of it like a computer. You tell it that sexual intercourse is forbidden, yet it has an unbreakable standing order to attain sexual fulfillment. The computer would whirr into action, and then anchor itself to the first stimulus that it found arousing, that didn't contain actual sexual intercourse. So instead of "I remember when gas used to be 50 cents a gallon", which is their mind's idea of the "proper" price of gasoline, my mind is saying "I remember when a girl got wet in her clothes and it was the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen" - which is now the mind's "proper" way to get aroused.

That's the best I can come up with for now. Would love to hear other people's viewpoint, and if/how you disagree with my theory.

In reply to Message (61732) Question What causes the WAM fetish?

By RoscoeBC - us Sun 06/07/14 08:10:14 GMT

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I'm still trying to figure out the reason a woman in wet clothes turns me on more than a naked one.  I've been that way as long as I can remember, as a boy I liked a picture of a girl in a wet short skirt and a wet blouse going sheer a lot more than the center spread of a Penthouse with everything on display.  I'm trying to get my wife to understand.  It seems she would be more comfortable if I wanted her to just strip naked.

 

I can think of four things that may be factors in my childhood.  Do these sound familiar to anyone?

 

First, my dad seemed to be pretty hung up about sex.  Never got romantic with mom in front of the kids.  If there weren't two kids around for proof, I never would have believed they got it on.  It was never discussed.  I get the feeling that I got the message that girls getting naked, or me looking at them, was bad.  Good people didn't do that.  But a girl getting wet, with her clothes going clingy and sheer was great.  She didn't get naked.

 

Second factor.  Not bragging, just throwing it out there.  I've got an unusually high IQ.  I belong to Mensa.  I have to wonder if brighter people have more fetishes.  Maybe it's the mind getting creative to stave off boredom?

 

Third.  Maybe my earliest memory (really, really early) is of my mom plopping my sister and I in the tub to give us a bath.  I specifically remember that I had a shirt on in the water and found something curious about that.  I suspect my mom thought a boy and a girl shouldn't be naked in the tub together.  I wonder if the act of soaping me up and rinsing me was arousing, and the association stuck.  I like getting myself wet almost as much as getting a girl wet.

 

Fourth, maybe I just like to have a little challenge, have to work for it a little, have a little left to wonder about.  But the urge seems too strong to just be that.

 

Am I ringing any bells with anyone?  

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