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Message # 93672.1

Subject: Re:major update from my world. on and off topic.

Date: Fri 24/02/23 23:10:18 GMT

Name: Malvineous

Email: mrnemesis@ntlworld.com

Website:

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Hmm. Considering what you said about advice …

How exactly does one know who to choose? What compromises must one accept, both in friendships and relationships? No-one is perfect, after all, so you’re left with the question: if you reject someone due to particular faults or because they don’t meet all your criteria, what are the odds that you will actually find a better match? How do you know if there is someone better on the horizon, or whether instead you just rejected the best match the world has to offer you?

I suppose in part it comes down to how close you are to normal. Not the mythical one single normal, but rather, one of the common patterns. The closer you are to fitting a standard pattern, the more like-minded people there will be.

I’ve noticed for years how often people here mention wives who don’t like wetlook and, in too many cases, are hostile towards it. Is that a healthy marriage? Is that a healthy and practical compromise, or the tragic result of mistaken judgement? Is it the result of the man trying to force the issue or handle it badly? I know I’ve handled the subject terribly over the years.

I don’t remember your specifics, although I do have a vague memory of when you last mentioned this woman you met.

How exactly one can really offer advice, I don’t know. It depends on the size of each person’s relationship wishlist, the cost of not fulfilling each requirement, the odds of a better match existing, and the projected outcome of rejecting the choice at hand in hope of something better.

I’m certainly glad that I never tried to enter into a relationship as a teenager. Even having passed 40, I don’t feel ready yet — I still have vastly more questions than I have answers, especially in terms of dealing with compromises. A thought process I use as a helpful viewpoint: what if she is the one with the fetish that you don’t like, and you’re the one who is going to be the let-down, the person being pressured into doing something you don’t want? Would you want to remain in that relationship knowing that you’d never be able or at least willing to offer that special something extra?

I have to recognise and accept that wetlook is not a priority — it’s not one of the important criteria. I could live with someone who’s not into wetlook, but someone without good attention to detail would probably drive me to despair.

In reply to Message (93672)

major update from my world. on and off topic.

By Desert Hawk - Fri 24/02/23 12:14:52 GMT

Website:

Well, it's been awhile since I posted an update about my life, so I thought it was time for an update. Those of you who have been following my crazy life story for 23 years now (until 2004 under the screen name of Whammy) will find this update fascinating.

I am still with my Precious woman from Las Vegas. Things are going much better for us than I reported in 2019. Last September she finally agreed to let us go to Magic Mountain and Hurricane Harbor! She went in the water in shorts and a black t-shirt. She has finally stopped being paranoid about me seeing other women and about the possibility of us running into my ex the golddigger from Glendale. We will be going back to the parks for more wet fun this summer! I am so glad I didn't listen to the advice from many people here and elsewhere who told me to get rid of her when things weren't going good. We worked things out and are very much in love and plan on getting married as soon as she can get off SSI. It may not happen before my new pastor starts the excommunications of sinners like me from my church. That might be a moot point, though, as we might be moving (in her case moving back) to Las Vegas. My best friend (who is disabled and can't take care of himself)'s father just died. His extended family all want to leave California because they are politically conservative and want out of this liberal state. Also, the only other friends we have in this state may soon move to West Virginia. If they all leave then Precious and I will be all alone in California. Precious is all I really need in this world, but it is good to have friends outside of your immediate family. At least in Las Vegas we will have Precious' brother, her cousin, my Cobra Command loving wierd friend, and a few other people we know. Moving would be a logistical nightmare since I own a home here in Bakersfield and it is paid for and loaded with all kinds of junk. Also, any move would be delayed until my disability situation is resolved. My heart failure, asthma, COPD, and other health problems (yes I know, caused by morbid obesity) have gotten much worse. I am currently on state disability leave and not working. I have a pending application for SSDI (different than Precious' SDI). If that gets approved then there is a 2 year waiting period for Medicare (I am currently on Medi-Cal, which obviously doesn't work in Nevada). It will be at least 2 years away, but we might end up moving to Las Vegas. That's all for now.

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